SPAM

Interesting thought about Spam: The name of the wierd meat that no one really knows what it is that comes in a can is the same name of any junk e-mail you get. Coincidence? I think not.

Some people are too trusting

I think it’s good to be able to trust people to a certain extent, but some people are just waay too trusting. Like those parents who take their kids to the overnight lock-up sleep over at the church. My question is: why is it necessary to lock the doors? What exactly are they doing in there? I mean, it’s not like people are just dying to get inside the church. ‘Oh, we take them so they can learn about Jesus.’ At two o’clock in the morning? And locked up? What is this, Nazi Germany? ‘We can only worship the Lord when everyone is asleep and it’s dark outside.’

And, of course, no parents are allowed because they’re smart enough to not go. A church sleep over is just a good reason for parents to get rid of their kids for a night. Bow-chicka-bow-wow! And who knows what the parents are doing. (Let it sink in. ‘Well, they’re going to lose their virginity eventually anyway, it might as well be to a holy man.’)

My favorite was when they had wrestling night at the church. I love that. Nothing like a good fist fight to honor the Lord.

I guess because it’s giant…

I was driving around the other day and I saw this furniture store that was having a big sale so, of course, to advertise this big sale they had a giant gorilla blow-up thing in front of the building. And I’m thinking, ‘why is it that if someone is having a big sale they have to have a gorilla out front?’ I mean, do they think people won’t adequately understand the meaning of “giant sale” unless there is a big gorilla in front of the building? Or a dinosaur? Who said that gorillas and dinosaurs were the mascots of giant sales? You never see a giant dog in front of a furniture store with a big sign on it that says ‘SALE’. Or a chicken. It’s always a gorilla. Admittedly it would be kinda strange to see a giant chicken in front of the store, but is it any less wierd than a giant gorilla? I wonder if PETA has anything to say about that.

Something I just learned

This is sort of a ”Life Lesson” post, so if you don’t want to learn a life lesson, then I guess you don’t have to read it. And no, I don’t care. (But that’s a different story.)

Okay so a couple of years ago, a woman was telling me about when her daughter graduated from High School and they threw a party for her. At the party the girl got a lot of money as gifts and she used some of the money to buy a new iPod.  The woman said that she was really proud of her because she waited until they came out with the iPod video before she bought one. And I’m thinking ‘why are you proud of her for spending hundreds of dollars on something when she could have bought another brand that cost a lot less and put the rest of the money in the bank for savings? How could you be proud of your daughter for blowing her money on something that she didn’t really need in the first place?’ I figured the woman was either off her rocker or just a bad parent who had obviously spoiled her daughter useless.

However, it stuck with me and I’ve been pondering over it for a couple of years now because it really just absolutely confused the heck out of me. And then just recently I think I realized what she meant, or at least where she was coming from.

Being proud of someone is a relative term; that is, relative to each individual person and their circumstances. For example, we can be “proud of” a little baby for taking its first step, though, when you really think about it, one step is nothing. I mean, nothing. One step. Woo hoo. But that’s all the baby can do and it wasn’t easy for him, so we’re proud of him. Or you could think of someone who’s an alcoholic. They can be proud of themselves for only getting drunk three times in a week. To a person on the outside, it still seems like way to much and that the alcoholic isn’t getting anywhere. But maybe the alcoholic used to get drunk, say, five times a week. So yeah, three times in a week is a big thing that they can be proud of themselves for. For their situation and their circumstances, it’s a big thing.

So maybe this daughter wasn’t accustomed to waiting before spending a lot of money on something. Maybe she usually just went out a bought whatever she wanted, without any thought of waiting for a sale, looking for the best price, or anything like that. So for her to wait for a product that was going to be better, that was something that was out of the ordinary and, honestly, a big step for her. That’s why her mother could be proud of her for it.

Basically, in order to be truly proud of someone, you have to do on their terms, not yours. You can’t compare them to yourself or anyone else. In fact, you can’t even really take logic into account at all, because it’s not about logic or anything like that. It’s just about the person, what they’ve been like in the past, and what they’re doing now.

It was kind of big for me because I tend to think way too much about things and I analyze something to death and by the time I’m done, nothing in the world makes sense. Hence, the cynicism. That’s also why I didn’t understand this mother. But now I do.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that “Life Lesson with Sydney”. I know I did. Remember to put your trash in the proper receptacles when leaving the building. Thanks and have a good day.

Free tacos at Jack in the Box – Tuesday, August 11 ONLY

It just doesn’t get any better than this. (Well, maybe if Starbizzle was giving away free lattes and on the bottom of one I found an old lottery ticket and, after scratching it off, I found that I had won the lottery and then upgraded to the Ritz Carlton hotel when I go on my trip to New York and while I’m there both me and my friend meet the perfect guy and we get married and live happily ever after. With my millions. That might be better. But for the time being, I’ll settle for free tacos at Jack in the Box.)

2 Free Tacos

Now, I admit that this does constitute me a very very cheap person considering that two tacos at Jack in the Box are only a dollar to begin with. However, a dollar saved here is a dollar I can spend in New York. (That’s also a dollar I can use for gas to drive to Starbizzle for a free latte. See scenario above.)

I have to point out that it’s only one coupon per customer. BUT what you can do is make a copy of this coupon and then use one at one Jack in the Box and then drive to another Jack in the Box for 2 more free tacos. Oh yeah. (For more tips on how to be so cheap that it just hurts sometimes, send me an e-mail. I learned from the best. My dad. The guy who, in order to conserve gas, would actually turn off the car when driving down a street with a hill on it. Yes. He did do that.)

So there it is. You’re welcome. Enjoy your free tacos. (And don’t start whining about how tacos at Jack in the Box aren’t real tacos because true, Jack in the Box is not a mexican restaurant, but all the people working there are mexican anyway so it still counts. Shout out to all my mexican homies!)

Good day for me

I’m sorry this isn’t going to be too terribly interesting, but I just wanted to share it with the class.

Today, I set a self-record in page views. I wrote an article about the Zune HD and got over a thousand readers! Pretty cool, huh? I know. I’m really liking this writing thing.

That’s all. Again, I apologize for the letdown.

More information on the price, capacity, and release date of the Zune HD is in a follow-up article. (The info was leaked today from a Best Buy employee.)

When people say “I’m sorry”

Have you ever noticed that if someone is in their car or a certain distance away from you when they say “sorry” they always wave? Why do people always wave when they say “sorry”? It’s always *wave* “Sorry!” I mean, is that really the way you want to start a conversation? “Hi! Sorry!”….Okay….”Hi. I forgive you? …. Should we talk about the weather now? I don’t really know where else to take this conversation.”

It just seems like a weird gesture to use when saying “I’m sorry” from a distance. I guess they’re trying to get your attention. Of course, if you’re looking right at them, that’s really necessary. But then you don’t know if they’re just waving to say hi or waving because they’re sorry. I mean, is waving the new way of saying “I’m sorry”? Should I wave back or look angry? Then if you wave back for some reason they always look at you weird. I’m like ‘hey, you’re the one that started this conversation by essentially saying ‘hi, sorry’. Don’t look at me like I’m an idiot.’ Where does this madness end?!

Side note: I have a question for anyone that lives in Britain. How do you spell “appetizer”? Do you spell it with a “z”, ’cause I’ve noticed that “z” isn’t used as commonly in Britain as it is in America. For example, we spell organization with a “z”, obviously, as well as realize/realized,  whereas in Britain it’s spelled with an “s”. In fact, pretty much every word that we spell with a “z” is spelled with an “s” over there. So, how do you spell “appetizer”? Do you even used the word “appetizer”? I’m kind of just rambling now, but I’m really curious. Do you spell anything with a “z”? Just wondering.

A conversation with a 3-year-old

I have a half-sister, Ina, who is 3 years old. Today she came over my apartment after work and decided to hang out with me. While we were hanging out she decided to make a cake for me out of paper. Well, when she was finished she asked if I wanted some and I said, “Is it edible?” (’cause it’s made out of paper, you know) and she said, “No, it’s cake.” It was so funny I couldn’t hardly stop laughing. Of course, I had to stop because I didn’t want her to think I was laughing at her. So we ate the edible cake and then she went to Wal-Mart, which was my bookshelf, and bought a movie that we watched on the TV, which was the monitor that I’m trying to sell that happened to be sitting on my floor. Unplugged. It was a fantastic movie. I think she said it was Flipper. Then, she went back to Wal-Mart, again, my bookshelf, and bought Bolt and came back home, “home” being 4 feet away where I was sitting in front of the “TV”, and we watched Bolt on the “TV”, which is actually the unplugged monitor. All in all, it was a wonderful afternoon. I love children and their imaginations.

P.S. Just in case you were wondering, this is my 100th post.

My response to a spammer

EDIT: If you noticed all the weird typos, I fixed it. I don’t know how it got so messed up. Anyway, continue…

Today I posted an ad on craigslist to sell a computer monitor, keyboard, and mouse that I need to get rid of. (And I’m saving up for my trip to New York.) I received a response to said ad from someone who happened to not be interested in my monitor, keyboard, and mouse at all. They simply wanted to tell me how they could lower my energy bills. Well, I’m not usually a very temperamental person…….no, I take that back, I’m very temperamental, and because of that, I got slightly annoyed (a.k.a. pissed off) and decided to respond to the spammer. Below is the ad, the spammer’s e-mail, and my response. I hope he got the message.

Craigslist ad

This is a Dell monitor and eMachines keyboard and mouse. They are all used, but in perfect working order. The monitor is small; about 14 inches diagonally. The keyboard has extra buttons for web use as well as cut, copy, and paste buttons.

Please e-mail if you’re interested or have any questions. For pick-up, I would like to meet in a public place.

Thank you!

Location: North Dallas/Addison

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

E-mail from Spammer

Hello Friend,

You may not know it but electricity rates have recently dropped to levels near a 3 year low but the cost of natural gas is back on the rise. Because 90% of the electricity in Texas is generated from natural gas, this means that electricity rates will also be back on the rise.

With 2 years in the business I can tell you that now is the time to lock in a low rate and at today s rates it s commonplace for individuals to lower their bill by as much as 40%

I can PROMISE you 3 things:

1. I can lower your rate by at least 20%
2. I will make sure you continue to get the best deal possible long after you sign up and your initial plan expires
3. You will never have to wait on hold for customer service because you will have my direct line for any questions you have regarding your service

For a FREE rate quote, visit www.yourenergychoice.com/texas or contact me toll free at the number below.

Thanks for your time and good luck with your craigslist ad!

Shawn Cornett

(866) 949-9510

My Response to the Spammer

Dear Mr. Shawn Cornett,

 

I appreciate that you consider me your friend, even though you have never met me. For all you know, I could be one of those murderers that stalks about Craigslist, looking for my next kill. The fact that you have risked your life to tell me about the cost of energy prices – that touches my heart.

 

Also, thank you for your unsolicited advertisement, despite the fact that my ad specifically said that it is NOT okay to contact me with services or other commercial interests. Although nowhere in my ad did I ask for anyone’s opinion about energy prices, you wanted so desperately to help me lower my monthly bills that you were willing to ignore my feelings completely and tell me about your company anyway.

 

Because of your complete lack of regard for what I really want as a consumer and seller, no I will not visit your website or call you toll free. Why should I waste my time on a company that clearly doesn’t care about me at all? It is obvious that your concern is only to further your own commercial interests.

 

Thank you for wasting my time and for briefly mentioning my craigslist ad. I can tell you really care.

 

Sydney

I’ve seen other people on the Internet do this and it seems to have been an effective way to tell the person you’re not interested as well as to vent a little. I hope he gets the idea.

Is Michael Jackson really dead? Hear me out….

Okay, this may sound bizarre, but don’t you think it’s a very convenient time for Michael Jackson to die? Of course, death is never convenient, and if he is really dead I think we’ve lost one of the greatest performers we’ve ever seen, but is it a coincidence that he died at a time when he’s, what, $400 million in debt? How exactly do you get out of that? Yeah, he was planning his “comeback tour”, but he’s getting old, you know, and a 50-year-old can’t do what a 20- or 30-year-old can. Call me crazy, but I think he just got up to his eyes in debt and decided he’d rather take it easy for a while. Retire to some obscure island, raise his kids in privacy, and just enjoy life.

Or, as some of my other compadres would say, this was all part of the conspiracy of his sister LaToya actually pretending to be Michael Jackson all along and he retired years ago. I guess she just got tired of the charade.

In any case, I don’t really think he’s dead. Call me crazy, but there it is.